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| The last one
this is my last post here...
...cos apparently I cant handle the stress and
I'm going crazy.. my mind nearly exploded
Im just 2tired off all trash ..
trash that ppl talks ... n trash that I create
and I cant think of any better solution but
delete delete delete and delete.
(now I know, how you were as lost, and wandering as I was..
How you hurt so much, it kept you from sleep...(if) I can ever
let you hold my hand.. I wont ever let you (or myself) go again)
=(
thnx to all pple for the support comments n love
I just cant deal with life right now... so I better delete
bfore things are 2late
I wish u guys all the best in life...
dont take life so serious like me....
well I got nothing else to say, but goodbye n good luck!
much love. n I really love you all my frens.
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| a lil disappointed sad story
Not very interesting.. so you dont really have to read it
its Friday and the story started with 4pple me a b and c
we decided we are going to meet up just a 4of us
will go clubbing bar hopping or wtever it is n enjoy ourselves
for the night... me as a planner n the gang has decide not
to walk back into the same old place where there's alot of
youngsters n Th crowd.. (according to b, b feels too old to
n strange to club next to em.. yet myself also trying to avoid
over crowded th pple) However...
myself planned 3 choices for the night.. we4 started the day by meeting up
at 5ish and have dinner together at around 7 after dinner we all went
out for smoke n this is when things get complicated...
the weather was hot n humid .. we were smoking out side n I say:
so how? where would you like to go tonight?...
A: anything u plan may as well u decide...
B: anything...
C: anything... Im tired from work...
the conversation go on n on in a circle of what to do where to n when will...
after standing there n talk for bout 15mins .. we decided to walk in to a shopping mall
cos it was too hot to handle.. n we sat down on a very comfy couch at a coffee place..
we order coffee hoping it will wake us all up n feels alert again!...
few minutes later, B phone ring: bla bla .. and hang up
B told us: hey my frens all are at this place ... I wanna go...
A&C:.... and myself goes: so how what should we do, and where?
then A call up some frens 2 see where they are... (cos we kinda starting to feel like
4pple aint going to work out n will end up going nowhere)
A hang up n found out that some frens are at one of the bar near by where our coffee place is..
However, it is totally opposite of the town from where B frens are ...
A explain that the frens may move later n go clubbing... so A make a choice
if we want to go see A frens first then see how... or go see B frens n stay there..
or do as we plan go clubbing ourselves... we all have to vote!
then me a & b vote.. we all choose our own plan.. yet C is the last person..
n C said: 4 of us can meet anytime right as it will always be lik this anyway .. so mind as well
go join with others n I will go home!????
Pretty much C made .. own choice n decided not to join any of the option..
it seems like all the plan isnt going to work out.. while B really wants to go see the frens .. n B
heart is already there... left A and me wondering what's going on.. a minute
me and A thought .. may b we should go off just a 2of us n go for a drink somewhere..
we sat there until 11 n the shopping mall is about to close... I got so fade up that I dont feel lik
going anywhere anymore ..
A felt sad cos A knows how much I willing to come out tonight n how much Ive done my research lol..
so A said lets join B frens since its area very close to where all clubbing places are...
C went home... A B and I drove there n we reach there nearly an hour later...
first got there, A and me had a culture shock.. n we didnt know it's somone bd party -_-"
we then sat there queitly ... not that it's bad but we dont really know anyone..
the weather was hot still .. so we didnt drink much (the place is an open air so..)
nearly one A n me got abit bored n we decided to take off n go clubbing just a 2 of us.. but
some of B frens want to come but B doesnt really want to come along.. however she was force to
by the frens... unfortunately Th clubs close at 2 which mean we cannot go far.. n we didng leave the place
til almost 1.30 bcos .. B n frens talking running around tipsy..
At the end .. we decided to go gay club bcos one of B frens is gay n suggested that we all go there..
n the place close at 5am... so we drove there again .. reach there at about 2ish... we got to the front door
n what happen is I left my Id in the car .. I ran back to the car n rand back to the club .. a minute I reach
there .. there isnt any security checking Id nemore..?? Guess what happen its closing up.. due to
the police report...
means we drive here for no point... some more I ran up n down for what?...
A has to quickly go home cos A cant really stay long neway .. yet C also wants to go home badly..
for what reason I dont know.. tired may b.. B frens wanna go somewhere else .. but got no where to go..
end up we all went home I drop B home first then I drive home which take another 40mins to get home..
I reach home around3 something .. tired, sweating... bored n not drunk
I kinda disappointed that things didnt work out as planned .. yet I remember last time I club with my 4 great frens
in melboure... doesnt have any problem.. instead we had so much fun.. got drunk n fun
I guess it's all about heart .. it's the heart thing .. how much you willing to enjoy the night together
as myself really wanna go clubbing n spend the night with A b and C .. but C heart is already at home..
while B heart is already at frens bd party.. A heart is kinda with me B and C ...
oh well it's nothing interesting.. I just feel disappointed n I cant help but comparing.. how great it feels
to be with great frens in melb last time... =(
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| Up Beat Vibrations
It was the hardest time of my life
leaving Australia to be back here n have no great frens
As I rule myself that no matter what happen in life I shall never
feel depress longer than 24hrs .. which basically mean
every morning I woke up, I.m fresh and active...
but the rule doesnt seem to apply this time round..
2weeks of depression, loneliness and, mindbogglingly gives me opportunity to think n figure things out..
Many many thought running back n forward up and down twisted 360'
and I FINALLY REALIZE N I.M FEELING UP BEAT AGAIN!
Numer one: I realize how short our life is... n I shall not wait anymore minute
wasting my time depressing in my room with 4white walls n originally white Mac desktop
Number two: I.m going to build up and finish my folio resume' by this week.. n will drop in
to as many work place as possible..
Number three: I'd realize the economic crisis is hitting on all of newbies graduated n in less than
a month time... another lots of Th newbies will be graduated n def will apply for work elsewhere..
and so this is the reason of number two
Number four: I miss my life n my frens back in Melb so bad... But I shall not think trash any longer...
I will try my luck n apply the PR offshore and see how.... If it did not work out, I guess I can still
visit them sometime someday somewhere ^^
Number five: In a meanwhile, I.m going to apply Postgraduate in UK yet I'll also go for ielts test
in mid march ... also will join Chinese language study course... n work my way back to the gym
Number Six: I.m very excited about visiting my bro' Gary in HK around my Bd time...since I.m free and
seems like pple in Th is not so free.. I mind as well hv myself a lil vacation n relax... yet .. Excited about
visiting frens in Singapore in early April.. its gonna b great!
Number Seven: Mind as well I.m going to bring along my folio and apply for job in both HK and Singapore
since I.m going there .. I shall not waste my opportunity n my time.. I might get lucky
n be able to work internationally ... who knows rite
Number Eight: pple says long lost frens and distance can sometime fade away the friendship and your great frens
may no longer be ur great frens nemore... As many of my frens back home as well fade away
n we hardly contact each other now... I promise myself I will never lost contact with my love frens
back in Melb or anyone in future... will keep the long lost frens relationship upward!
To any off you out there who just graduated... n may feeling down confuse or any negative thoughts...
allow ur time to think and considered what do you really want in this life .. sometime things
dont work out like you expect.. but thats what life is all about .. "expect unexpected"
when the door close, the window opens... if the window close.. then u break the window n climb out k! lol
I still dont have my final decision of what to do in life... but since I have time.. I will try every possible way n opportunities and wait for results .. which work the best.. which door opens and which is close
I hope you guys are doing well no matter where you are.. I wish you guys luck
and all the best .. cheer up ...
I.m excited about future right now
Good Afternoon Upper Eastsider...
Get ready for ur new adventures to come... the clock is ticking n the time is not going to wait for you.. xoxo
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| I.m fine thnk you
I.m really fine now... n from now on
I.m going to be fine
thnk to u all out there.
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| just me
2weeks of emptiness.. but msgs and phone calls
it seems like others are gettin used to it..
used to not havin me around...
why cant I? why cant I get used to a life of my own..
a life of no one around..
a life of 20hrs in bed...
I cant help but wondering if others feel the same way..
I dont really know what to feel what to believe or what not
to believe anymore...
officially lost my happiness for the first time...
crowded house but empty heart..
noisy but irritating.. ...
faces but no feelings...
I dont know what to do...
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